Sweet Tea Ethics: A Love Letter To My Father
September 26, 2025 my father would have been 77 years old. His philosophies are foundational principles of Sweet Tea Ethics.
Speaking indifferently to him,
who had driven out the cold
and polished my good shoes as well.
What did I know, what did I know
of love’s austere and lonely offices?
- Excerpt from “Those Winter Sundays” by Robert Hayden
My sun lil e swishes jump shots on the same b ball courts where my dad used to train me. His verbal reward for a great athletic showing was: “Good Show!” Those two words were everything to me growing up.
When the universe canceled our father-son series, without proper notice, the show would end. I found myself at my kitchen table, taking shots of sweet tea and scribbling notes in a worn legal pad that would become the hardest speech I ever composed, his eulogy. His homegoing service was a live year book of the lives he touched.
There were grown men who turned into loving fathers from my dad's counsel as their probation officer when they were in juvenile detention. There were my former teachers, like my 4th-grade educator, Mrs. Constance Releford, who showed their respect and stories about how much my dad supported them at their schools. There were his former players from his championship years as a witty baseball and basketball coach. There were elected officials and other dignitaries singing his praises, like the City of East Point, which honored him with a day in his name. And there was I, totally devastated, unsure if I could make it without his wisdom.
Well, he is always with me. His philosophies. His dignity. His purpose. His love. His soul. The book of Ed Garnes Sr. offers lessons daily. Here are the top five that sustain me:
The only rule is that there are no rules. The exception is that there are many.
The person who has control is the person who needs the least control.
Life is not about knowing all the answers. Life comes down to your capacity to solve problems.
You can’t legislate crazy.
Document everything. Paperwork is king.